Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Nature, nurture and the gift of grace

 Catherine Worrell Derick,
 my paternal grandmother. 
Nature vs nurture; genetics vs environment; it's a long-standing debate explored in classrooms, therapy sessions and around the family table.  I admit more than a passing fascination with it and often ponder the ways in which traits, mannerisms and values take up residence in the next generation.  Add birth order, traumatic events or assorted environmental influences and you've got ample fodder for a dozen disserations.  

My late father, George Charles Derick, lost his young mother when he was just 4 years of age.  How did she, in life and in death, influence my father and his younger twin siblings?  What genetic traits were passed along to cast shadows or light in their respective lives?  

My siblings and I carry our fair share of our birth parents traits and values.  Like our father, Melinda, my younger sister, was 4 years old when she lost a parent, though it was divorce that left her adrift.  Age and timing matter.  Where we are in our lives and how we utilize the resources at hand figure prominently. 

It's been five years to the day since my father's death.  Miraculously and wondrously, great chasms have closed over.  In its place lies fertile ground where we've sown the seeds of love and compassion.  My father meets me there.  "Namaste, dear father." 

My father with his guitar, Bill,
and his canine companions, Smokey & Shadow.
"Out beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing, there is a field; I'll meet you there."  Rumi

1 comment:

  1. Oh honey, the Rumi quote is perfect here. I love that you remember significant dates and are so thoughtful with your reflections. Thank you for being you, dear sister. I love you.